When i think about us, i will just take a deeeeep breath.

I know we are doing this for our good since we both totally drag into our own love world. And that is not good for you and me.
But, how do u expect me to face or to go through thing like this? That thing is your idea and u know i cant do this. I just couldn't. So u force me by u start it first & u put rules. Having u whenever i need help or not having u whatever happens to me. Its mean friend or nothing. At first i say i want to earase you and go far from this life because i hurt so much.
After a while, i agreed to be your friend because myself cant stand living without you. I say better have a little than nothing. But the way u treat me when i agreed to be your friend are always change. Sometimes u dont really care u text me because i want to study but when u are infront of me, u give great smile. I smile too. Then i get confuse what is that smile for? Is it from friend or lover
And this makes me harder to just be your friend.
I control myself not to texting u too much, i control chating u like we are just a friend, i control like i am not touched the way u treat me.
Until when i have to be like this

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